I have decided to filter out friends who are not sincere in maintaining relationships FOREVER! I have already put in enough efforts with mediocre friends and I think enough is enough!
Had always enjoyed Dawn's friendship since we got to know each other in CH about 8 years ago. Since then we have always been able to talk about anything under the sun. As we are both very busy, we do not meet up as often as we used to be, these days, but I still categorize her as a "good friend". However in recent years, we have drifted apart. Partly due to her relocating to KL the other time for about a year, and partly we are both very busy with our own lives.
I have asked her out on a few occasaions and she always have no time for me. Finally I took the effort to make a prior arrangement with her to meet up today, 2 weeks back. We were supposed to meet today but I did not receive any sms from her, so I called Dawn the moment I woke up at around 10am.
10 was supposed to join us as well but during the phone conversation, she told me 10 would not be joining us as she has other programs. I said its ok and went ahead and arrranged to meet her at Orchard control station at 4.30pm. However, at about 1pm, she sent me a sms!
1.08pm - Dawn: Want to eat dinner with 10 and adrian? Can la.
1.10pm - Marc: Haha. you self question, self answer ah? Of course can la, why cannot? U very funny le. I am ok with Adrian.
1.51pm - Dawn: Do you want steamboat at Ang Mo Kio? Its a nice and cosy place for makan, say around 6? (She attempted to divert my attention and push back the time, thinking I did not notice) As I was reading the sms, she called.
Dawn: So how?"
Marc: Sure, where is that steamboat place?
Dawn: Or why not we have Jap food instead?
Marc: I dislike Jap food, stick to the steamboat la? Or want to go and eat crab at Marine Parade or Ang Mo Kio?
Dawn: Anything then. We will meet at Ang Mo Kio then.
Marc: 10 and Adrian like to eat crab hor?
Dawn: Ya they are ok with anything.
Marc: Ok, after we hang up, I send you the address. We see each other there at 6pm sharp.
(Then I sent her the address via sms)
I went ahead to do my own things, had my lunch, etc. Pushed away some appointments of friends and looked forward to meet them.
Her sms came again at 4pm.
4.07pm - Dawn: Hi, can we change makan place? We feel like eating Jap food.
4.08pm - Marc: We don't eat crab then, but can we also don't eat Jap? I really don't like Jap.
4.19pm - Dawn: How then? Can we postpone to another time then?
Upon reading the sms, I was really pissed.
4.23pm - Marc: Don't want to meet just say don't want to meet. Don't find so many excuses. Anyway the initial plan was just for the 2 of us to meet in town. Why must we accomodate to Adrian just because he feels like eating Jap?
4.26pm - Dawn: Want to meet but really feel like eating japanese food. Lets arrange again. Buy you coffee .
And I replied her that I do not want to meet anymore, ever. Cuz she sees Adrian and 10 every few days for badminton. I see her like once a blue moon, and she has to accomodate to their cravings? This incident just goes to show how much she cherishes the friendship between us.
Anyway, this is not the first time I am treated this way after making prior arrangements, so I have decided to erase the words Dawn and Yilin from my list of friends.
I have better things to do than to always try to sms them to catch up and maintain a friendship. I have done my part for these friendships over these years.
END.
15 March 2008
Crab or Jap?
Penned by Marc on Saturday, March 15, 2008
Tags: thoughts
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5 Macro Voice(s):
worth losing a 8 yrs friendship over a jap dinner? life is pretty short, sometimes giving in doesn't do us any harm. giving is always better than receiving. it's a blessing not everyone is able to give, but only if you are willing
its nt just becuz of the dinner, but other factos as well. When u try hard to keep a friendship going, but U do not c the same effort from the other person, then its worthless trying.
No one will know except herself.
I fully undstd your feelings at that very moment when you felt that she just don't want to accomodate you, but simply the other two friends. I've always been treated the same way too.
Some people just like to take others for granted. We try to be nice to give in at times but then, they won't even give in to us, not even once. Very sad. Let's assume she didn't accomodate to the other two friends but she herself wants to eat jap food badly...but still...i'm sure she can give in alittle too since you've also given in to her/them by not insisting to eat crabs...this is give and take in relationships! Some people just don't undstd.
And yes, i also agree that giving is a blessing more than receiving...but then again, how many times can we give in? All the time? Always? Forever? Everyone has a limit to everything...and too bad, she had exceeded what she's been entitled for.
Thanks anonymous for understanding and agreeing with me. Relationship needs 2 hands to clap, in this case, it was a case of one hand trying to clap.
From the way I see, you really can forget abt them. she was not even apologetic in the conversation. I read already also damn pissed. Totally understand how you feel bro.. few good frens are enough.. cheers!
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